Just another summer diary

I can build fires and cook meals over them.

I can keep children amused with a handful of ‘repeat after me’ songs and a parachute.

I can distract a homesick girl at 12pm at night by telling her about my cats.

I have a short fuse when it comes to any kind of tale-telling: someone says, ‘She said that I….’ and I switch off.

I can carry a girl with a twisted ankle all the way to health centre and back.

I can shot rum straight out of the bottle.

I can do somersaults.

I can paddle a homemade raft constructed out of wooden planks, floaties and styrofoam.

I can make crayola paintings and clay pots.

I can direct an entire showcase and not go completely crazy.

I can function an entire day on approximately two hours sleep.

I don’t like most American food.

I have a low pain threshold.

My laugh amuses people overseas as much as it does people back home.

Americans will believe anything if it’s said to them in a British accent.

I am appalling at mini golf.

The final week of camp, last week, passed in one short blur! I was essentially working from 6.30am till 11pm without a break of any description: any spare time I had was spent printing off scripts, writing new scenes and organising workshop sessions for the girls. Still, it was a lot of fun. As I was hired specifically to arrange the drama week, I wanted to do my best and I really enjoyed myself.

Sadly it’s all over now. Friday, after the girls left, was spent cleaning up and making inventories of the arts and crafts supplies. Friday night, we made a big final campfire and sat around it and drank and then did somersaults in the pool until 5am. After two hours sleep, we got up and cleaned camp from top to bottom all day Saturday and headed to the final staff meal in Laurinburg in the evening. It was pretty emotional.

Didn’t want to say bye to any of these amazing new people I’ve met and it’s so unlikely I’ll see many of them again unless I come back to camp next year. Even so, there won’t be exactly the same people here ever again and we’ve had such a fabulous time. Was given a staff memory book full of ‘remember when’s’ and a necklace with my camp name on it. Wish I could add so many more memories of the final week to the staff book, like these:

Kiki doing a tuck and roll off the mule while mule-surfing (standing up on the mule with it going full pelt - something we didn’t do while Ninja was around).

The ‘important visitor’ leaving the clay pit smothered in mud.

‘No no, Boston, no no.’

Cherry giving me a One Direction poster at the final meal in commemoration of us shouting, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL’ across camp whenever we saw each other.

Jaws and Squiggy coming to lunch dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell.

The drama girls finishing their final showcase, taking a bow and, as they did so, me putting on ‘Call me Maybe’, at which point every single girl in the audience got up and danced onstage.

Caroline’s ‘underwear sucking’ and ‘bedsheet airing’ incidents (don’t ask).

The disastrous final campfire in which several Brownies nearly got sizzled to death.

Erin’s grandmother’s assessment of her musical preferences: ‘Erin listens to rude music. She was listening to one recently and the lyrics were like -’ (She starts shouting full pelt.) ‘- ‘I LIKE YOUR PANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES!!!”

Half the counsellors asking for colouring sheets at the final meal.

‘Kiki would never have the AUDACITY to break camp rules.’

Learning how to somersault at 5am whilst more than a little drunk.

In the same night, learning just how many counsellors will fit into a polyhedron floaty.

Ninja: ‘Ah’ve been married three times, now guess why ah left university early.’ Me: ‘Ninja, I don’t know. Tell us.’ Ninja: ‘Ah got distracted.’ (Laughs like a naughty child.)

My final road trip has begun. We’re currently at Kiki’s house in Charleston. On Thursday, Cat will drive us to Savannah and then we take a Greyhound to Atlanta. And then I fly home. Can’t believe how quickly it’s all gone but I’m so thankful for all the hilarious, crazy, beautiful memories I have from this summer.

Closing campfire last night was emotional for several of us. We only have a week left at camp and things are noticeably winding down. We made a memory page for the staff book this week. A tiny selection:

Myself and Cherry singing ‘Call me Maybe’ to a boy in Sonic.

Kiki and I jumping the pool fence to prank Jaws and Squiggy.

The several ‘counsellors’ meetings’ we had in the cabins after the girls went to bed, normally descending into hysterical laughter watching Sunshine and Koi’s impressions of some of the campers.

Jaws and Squiggy dressing up as Pocahontas and Spongebob for a song session at dinnertime.

The lifeguards playing music over the radio mid-afternoon.

Midnight trips to Walmart for more beer on our week off.

Fourth of July week (the bits I remember…).

The epic prank pulled on Thunder this week, involving moving her entire bedroom (bed and cabinet and all) up to the stage in the dining hall.

Stealing corn out of a field for cookout and then realising it was animal fodder.

Hawkeye making whirring noises while driving her trolley around Walmart.

The time I got extremely posh and British and told my girls I was ‘Frankly embarrassed by their behaviour.’

Convincing all the Brownies and most of my Art Craze girls this week that I am fourteenth in line to the throne of England and live in a 40-bedroom mansion.

Campfires, guitars, singing, beaver hunting, ‘JUMP IN…JUMP OUT’, getting my camp name tattooed on my ankle, the counsellors calling each other Beatrice in an attempt to confuse the campers, horse riding at Pee Dee, Hawkeye’s ‘four four-legged children’, eating a spoonful of Vegemite, Thunder shotting ketchup, Archibald the box turtle.

I booked a flight home today. Am feeling empty and miserable at the thought of leaving all these people. Cat tells a story about giving pieces of your heart away at campfire: I’ve definitely done this here.

Pranks so far since the bed in the tree incident:

JAWS, SQUIGGY AND THUNDER: Covered Cat’s car in post its; clingfilmed Roo’s car and filled it with balloons.

KIKI AND RIVER: Threw a ‘pool party’ on Jaws and Squiggy’s night off, decorating it with streamers and sidewalk chalk and filling the pool with red solo cups and balloons.

Pretty sure there are more to come. Am currently walking on eggshells waiting for the retribution from the pool party.

We have a week off for Fourth of July and Jaws, Squiggy and I have been roadtripping it around SC. Had so many kind invitations to stay with people: started off the week in Myrtle Beach where we stayed with Roo. Then onto Charleston with Cat where we had cookouts, made a bucket of sangria, visited a plantation and nursed several bad hangovers. Headed back upstate to Clio yesterday to Erin’s where we put on facepaint and transfer tattoos and went to a Fourth of July fireworks display. It was pretty good. Today is another hangover day although we did go horseback riding at Pee Dee this morning. I had a great time as I haven’t ridden properly for so long and it was fun to give it a go in a Western saddle. The staff at Camp Pee Dee are so lovely and welcoming and they essentially took a large part of their morning to show us around the trails in the soaring heat.

The heat is ridiculous this week and it’s a good thing camp is closed for the holiday. Can’t believe how quickly the week is going though and we’re back in camp on Saturday. Hoping to do some white water rafting and maybe a concert at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach before then, however.

Spending so much time driving around with the radio on that I can sing all of the recent releases. Call me Maybe is the song of the summer. Jaws says that she and her friends back home play a game where they say the lyrics to people. Frequently, we will approach each other and say, in complete seriousness, ”Hey. I just met you. And this is crazy…”

I ate a whole spoonful of vegemite last night for a dare as part of Ring of Fire.

The craziness continues. Unabated.

If you’re rooting for the boy scouts, clap your hands…oops, I missed.

Have learned too many camp songs. Percy the Palefaced Polar Bear, Sipping Cider, littleblackthingslittleblackthings, The Grand Old Duke of York, eenymeenyandamineymocatchawhipperwhopperbyhistoe, this is my boy kisser / breadbasket / babybouncer, EVERYWHERE WE GO-O, PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNO-OW, WHO WE A-ARE, WE ARE THE GIRL SCOUTS, um-ah said the little green frog, blacksockstheynevergetdirty, YOU CAN’T RIDE IN MY LITTLE RED WAGON, the moral of this story is never to lie!, The Princess Pat, rare bog a rattlin bog…

Too much in my head.

Really enjoying my week with the Horse Lovers so far! They’re all such sweet girls and a lot easier to handle than last week’s group. I think it’s just there’s a better mix of ages and personalities and everyone just seems to be having a much better time.

Ranger Dave has been renamed Ninja due to his powers of appearing in the nick of time to sort something out for us. He has been driving us in the hay rick to Camp Pee Dee every evening for our riding classes. The lady who takes the classes, Miss B, is pretty much a female version of him: deep southern accent, deep tan. My girls are convinced that Ninja and she are in a romantic relationship.

The week’s dramas so far: I have somehow got poison ivy on my ankle and it’s driving me nuts (it’s basically a small section of blistered skin but it spreads really easily so I’m trying not to touch it; also, apparently, once you have it, it will keep coming back). The night before last I woke up to rain sheeting through the sides of the cabin onto my face and an epic thunderstorm. Last night, I returned home from my night off to find Squiggy, Elmo (the CIT) and Cherry attempting to kill a cockroach of some description in the cabin and it just refused to die. Every time we whacked it with a flipflop it leaped back up. Homesickness, stolen money, lost items of clothing, bedwetting and other minor mishaps aside, the week has been a really good one.

Especially good to have three other counsellors in my unit: Squiggy, Sunflower and Cherry, not to mention Elmo, who is a counsellor in training. We only have 12 girls so life is a lot more relaxed: breaks are easier to schedule and evening shower time far more manageable. Unfortunately the only downside is that we are staying up at Tall Timbers, which is separated from the rest of the camp by an extremely creepy track through the woods (I did it alone last night at 11.30pm). There is no air con or electricity in the cabins. However, the night skies are fabulous as there is very little light: feels like I can see all the stars in the world.

Cookout this pm and I’m hoping it won’t get too warm. It’s been pretty cool for once all day. We’re making my favourite dessert: dump cake.

Mermaid: ‘Trust me, I know what love is. I have a boyfriend.’

Me: ‘How long have you been with him?’

Mermaid: ‘A week.’

A few hours later, Ranger Dave drives past with another guy.

Jaws: ‘Oh my god, A BOY ON CAMP!!!’

The same girl: ‘I call dibs!’

…

Jay: ‘OK, Kara, you’ve had long enough in the shower now. You need to finish.’

Kara: ‘I’m nearly done, I have just got to do my entire body.’

…

Tiniest Brownie in the world, brandishing a brush at me menacingly: ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’

…

Counsellor, overheard at 12pm on the final night following two hours of damage control in the girls’ cabins: ‘Tomorrow…I’m going to SHAVE.’

…

Brownie: ‘Can you hypnotise me?’

Counsellor: ‘If I thought it would work, I would definitely try it.’

…

Mermaid: ‘River, River, they keep saying the P word and it’s grossing me out.’

Me: ‘OK, what’s the P word?’

Mermaid, in a deathly whisper: ‘Panties.’

…

Me: ‘What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?’

Mermaid, shuddering: ‘At my communion, my cousin put bubbles down my dress.’

…

Me: ‘OK girls, you have two minutes to make your wish on your wishing bundle.’

A few minutes later.

Mermaid, sobbing her eyes out: ‘I don’t know how to make a wish.’

…

Four campfires (including one started with ONLY ONE MATCH (BOOM!!) and one started in the pouring rain), millions of bug bites, one lost camper, five nights of next to no sleep and two personal meltdowns later and the first week’s over! I’ve lost a water bottle, a pair of sunglasses and several important pieces of paperwork; ruined a pair of trainers in the clay pit; been attacked and sprayed with water and facepaint by campers; been dressed up for an Ugly Counsellors competition and accidentally poured a jug of ice water over a girl sitting at my lunch table. Luckily, the lost camper wasn’t one of mine.

I think it’s safe to say that next week can only go better!

Two days into this week and I’m exhausted. I’m on a break at the moment and I don’t think I’ve looked forward to something more for a while. Really enjoying myself but constant questions e.g. ‘When can I have a break?’ ‘When are we going swimming?’ ‘When is lunch?’ are already driving me nuts.

First night of camp (Sunday night) was an experience. Am sharing a cabin with Jaws and Koi, the other two Mermaid counsellors, and Squiggy and Kiki, who are with the Brownies. Our cabin was brownie go-to zone the ENTIRE NIGHT. ‘Natalie’s crying; she’s homesick.’ Five minutes later. ‘Now Rachel’s crying.’ A little later. ‘I think I’m homesick too.’ 3am, the brownies escaped and decided to run around camp with their flashlights, shrieking. Chipmunk rose up in all her glory and was heard to discipline them as follows: ‘CHIPMUNK IS NOT HAPPY WITH THIS!’

In the morning, the concept of the brownies whizzing round camp like ‘We’re freeeee!’ kept us all amused for hours but I only got two hours sleep.

Yesterday: canoeing, rounders, swimming, tons upon tons of questions all day, songs, games, arts & crafts. I forgot how easily bored girls can get and how easily they form cliques: am constantly fighting against ‘I want to work with Destiny’, ‘I want to share a canoe with Abby’.

Night off last night. We all get one a week. Thunder, Kiki and I went for dinner at Fatz (I’m obsessed with this place) and then to Walmart to buy presents for our secret buddies. This is something all the counsellors are doing: a little way of showing our support for each other as the week goes by - just leaving notes or little gifts for them. Unfortunately hand in hand with the secret buddy system goes the pranking: Jaws and Squiggy are particularly good at this. Kiki and I came back to find our mattresses taped to the trees, complete with sleeping bags, pillows, books, and notes telling us to ‘Sleep tight’. So last night was a late one again as we were all laughing too much to sleep.

(Squiggy and Jaws have a night off tonight: we are all working on a plan. Unfortunately I can’t do anything to mess up the pool (as lifeguards, they would have to clean it out) as my girls have a polar bear swim tomorrow morning!)

Taking the girls to the clay pit in a little bit. Am attempting to utterly exhaust them every day in order to avoid a repeat of Sunday night.

Most of the camp staff who live fairly locally went home yesterday evening. The rest of us got our party on (kind of). We went to Fatz in Florence for PROPER FOOD(i.e. food that wasn’t sort of lukewarm by the time we got it) and then went bowling. Finished the night sitting by the lake until the small hours, chatting and getting to know each other.

My harem trousers caused a stir wherever they went. Thunder expressed the firm belief that she’d never seen ‘pants’ like them before and if she wore them to school, she’d get really odd looks. She also kept suggesting I hide stuff in them e.g. a basket of Fatz’s sensational bread rolls.

Archery orientation today with a slight hangover. Looking forward to this afternoon when we can just relax and swim. It’s boiling hot here and my sunburn is already peeling.

Spent all day cleaning up camp in preparation for the campers’ arrival on Sunday. Apprehensive that I’ll end up with a group of brats (though hoping I’ll be able to distract them with the fabulous (colour-coded) schedule I drew up this morning). Koi is my other counsellor, which is great, as she makes me giggle (her bug-busting activities are hilarious). Am unit leader for the Mermaids this week - so am planning a lot of water-themed activities: canoeing, twilight swims, polar breakfasts, water balloon fights.

Last night we had a glorious campfire and dough boys dipped in cinnamon sugar and lots of guitar-playing.

Sleepy. We’re off to a restaurant in Bennettsville as most of the other staff have gone home for the weekend. Hoping against hope I don’t end up sick like last time!

The internet has been down for days at Camp Sandy Ridge! Finally it’s up and running again. Staff training week’s been extremely busy so far. We’ve had CPR training, child abuse awareness, night hikes, cook outs and lots of games and song sessions to get us all in the camp frame of mind. Everyone is now scared stiff of homesickness (and trying desperately to think of ways of keeping the girls as busy as possible so that are too exhausted to even contemplate being homesick). I’m still terrified at the thought that a little girl may come up to me next week and say, ‘I want to go home.’ (Though am planning on using the ‘Well so do I, and my home is MUCH further away than yours,’ ploy.)

Monday night was a really lovely evening; we finished training early and most of the counsellors went to bed besides Thunder, Roo, Jaws, Squiggy, Cat and I. We made a fire and sat around it and sang lots of songs and played guitar. I have been completely converted to outdoors life. My friend Jo expressed concern that I would return from camp ‘even more of a child of nature than you already are’ and I think this may happen! I’m not even too bothered by the bugs though I haven’t stepped in a fire anthill yet, as Boston did yesterday. Nor have I seen a snake, though I’m keeping a sharp lookout on firewood collection trips.

Spent yesterday morning at the high ropes course at Camp Pee Dee, the Baptist camp down the road. I’m terrified of heights but I managed to get up and even jumped off the zipline (though I didn’t have much choice, it was either that or climb down the terrifying wobbly ladder). Such an adrenalin rush. Was buzzing for the rest of the day and everyone else was so sleepy. Had a cook out in the evening (wrapped chicken breasts in foil and made mini grilled pizzas in pudgie pie makers, which are square iron pie cases that sit in the coals). Dessert was dump cake, cooked in a big dutch oven in the coals and homemade icecream, which we made by putting cream and sugar and milk in a tin, duct-taping it closed and putting it in a larger tin, then surrounding it with ice and icecream salt and kicking the tin around until the icecream solidified. It’s actually called Kick the Can Icecream though you’re not supposed to dent the tin quite as much as we did (Squiggy and I had a pretty serious football match going on for a while).

After cook-out, Cat, the camp director, surprised myself and the other internationals (as they’re now calling us) by saying, ‘You girls can take my car out this evening if you want.’ So even though none of us have international driving licences and none of us have ever driven on the right side of the road before, we went on a road trip last night, along with Erin (Cat’s nanny) and Kiki. First stop: Walmart (where else?), for bouncy balls, earplugs, aftersun etc. Next stop: Sonic, for disappointing milkshakes and a look at the local eye candy (similarly disappointing). Finally we ended up on a dark road in between two cornfields, miles from civilisation, setting off tiny fireworks and looking at the stars. It was glorious. Drove back to camp with the radio on full blast trying to avoid the attention of any passing state troopers (difficult to do as Jaws kept turning right and pulling automatically into the left hand lane).

Today, we had a jungle breakfast, which is something we’ll probably end up doing with the girls next week. It basically involves hanging food in ziplock bags in the trees and bushes and having them go and find it. (The polar breakfast option, which I think sounds even more fun, involves floating food in plastic bags in the pool and weighing down cartons of juice so that they have to dive for it.) Never thought camp would be this much preparation and work: always assumed I’d be told exactly what to do each hour of the day with the kids. Instead, we’re pretty much in charge of scheduling whatever we want for the girls in our unit. Looking forward to the chance to think of new things to do with them. Sort of wishing I was a camper myself.

(This is what I spent the majority of yesterday doing.)

Had a horrible night’s sleep and felt really awful all morning. Was sent back to bed with a huge bottle of disgusting pink medicine and slept through till around 3pm. Still didn’t feel too brilliant but got up and did camp tour with the new counsellors, had supper and participated in Campjam in the evening: a team-building exercise which involved doing lots of different tasks like making badges, painting flags and learning how to tie certain knots (I’m pretty sure my dad would have been mightily disappointed in my efforts).

I’m feeling a million times better today, though, so all is peachy with the world. The new counsellors are a mixed bunch: ranging from 18 to 25 (or possibly even older); some in school, some between schools and some about to start school in August. My unit consists of Koi, Cherry, Chipmunk and Jay. Everyone seems really sweet though my breakfast table spent most of their time talking about USC (University of South Carolina) stuff and I had no idea what was going on. Still, they’re all very intrigued about British life and keep asking me to say stuff. I have been asked twice if I’m from Australia (they think Squiggy, Jaws and I are all from the same place) and have confused several people by asking where the loo is.

Hilarious interlude after breakfast from the ranger. I still can’t understand him but he makes me laugh all the same.

This week is absolutely packed; we have to learn how to do cook-outs, camp kapers (clean ups), a bunch of camp songs, CPR, archery and we have a jungle breakfast on Thursday morning, whatever that may be.

Over and out!